


Talk Me Down

by uwusunflower



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Mentions of Cancer, Minor Character Death, Softness, grey’s anatomy but make it ✨gay✨, its like sad but soft, jaida likes jannnnnnnnn, lesbian tomfoolery hehe :)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:01:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26630326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uwusunflower/pseuds/uwusunflower
Summary: It hurt her beating heart to see the bubbly nurse like this, the same woman who kept lollipops out all around the building for little kids, who always left sweet little doodles and encouraging sticky-notes on the screen of Jaida’s desktop, curled into herself. Jan was many things, but small wasn’t one of them.  Her personality was vivacious, the kind of girl who made you more grateful to be alive with one small gesture, bubbly, confident, excitable. There were a million words to describe her, not one word in the dictionary doing a good enough job to fully express how amazing Jan was in Jaida’s mind, but out of all those words, Jan was never timid
Relationships: Jaida Essence Hall/Jan Sport
Comments: 6
Kudos: 14





	Talk Me Down

**Author's Note:**

> Drabble from my new s12 medical au!! Enjoy!! If u like please comment if u like it!! Love y’all!! 💞💖💘

”Jan please just open the door, hon,” Jaida pleaded, shrugging off her coat and standing outside the door of the hall closet. She had come back from her Starbuck’s run almost uncharacteristically eager to bring her blonde friend back an overly-sweetened iced coffee, only to find her colorful desk space entirely deserted. Her purple cellphone had been abandoned, making a feeling of worry bubbling in the surgeon’s stomach. Jan never left her cellphone unattended, always keeping the device practically glued to her fingers. Jackie, with a sympathetic look on her face, informed her that Jan had left their shared office space in a quick haste towards the hallway closest to them only moments ago. With a polite nod to the Persian woman, Jaida had set off down the hallway, halting once she heard the sounds of sniffling from behind the thin wood of the spare sanitary closet door. Now she remained outside, the blonde nurse refusing to allow her in to comfort her. 

“C-can’t...it’s all my fault. It’s all my fault,” the woman behind the door sobbed, voice breaking as she cried. 

Jaida winced to no one in particular, hearing the heart-wrenching pain in her cries. The blonde being so upset didn’t sit right with her whatsoever, knowing she was on the other side of that door experiencing some kind of pain made that bad feeling in her gut only groaning larger with each or Jan’s sobs. “Jan, baby, what’s going on?” She eased, trying to be as gentle as possible despite having to speak through a door. “Just talk to me, hon. Everything is gonna be alright, whatever it is.”

“Come on Jannifer,” Jaida teased, faltering when she realized her attempted humor was misplaced, as Jan remained quiet from the opposite side. “I just wanna give you a hug….” she mumbled, too concerned to care about the other woman hearing her as she blushed to herself. 

With a small click of the push lock, a sigh of relief escaped the dark-haired woman, who gently pushed the door open before slipping inside. It hurt her beating heart to see the bubbly nurse like this, the same woman who kept lollipops out all around the building for little kids, who always left sweet little doodles and encouraging sticky-notes on the screen of Jaida’s desktop, curled into herself. Jan was many things, but small wasn’t one of them. Her personality was vivacious, the kind of girl who made you more grateful to be alive with one small gesture, bubbly, confident, excitable. There were a million words to describe her, not one word in the dictionary doing a good enough job to fully express how amazing Jan was in Jaida’s mind, but out of all those words, Jan was never timid

Scrub-concealed knees pulled close to her chest, head kept downward and between them, she was shaking with upset. Blonde curls had fallen three quarters of the way out of her elastic hair coil, and cheeks flushed, even crying she was beautiful. Her sobs wracked her body, and it made Jaida feel nothing short of pure sick in her stomach, from the strong scent of disinfectants and bleach or seeing Jan so upset, she didn’t know. 

“I…I feel so stupid. God I’m such an idiot,” Jan hiccuped, trying and failing to wipe away her tears with the back of her shaking hand, only smearing more smudges of mascara across her cheek. The normal bubbliness within her voice had been trampled by whatever troubles the day had brought her, her words quiet and weaker than normal. 

“Hey, hey, hey now,” Jaida started, sitting beside her colleague’s upset form. “Breathe, honey, please,”she inhaled slowly. “In for five,” she counted off, hoping Jan would be able to calm down by breathing with her. “-out for seven,” she nodded, reaching out her hand to hold hers. 

Jan interlocked their fingers, her eyesight was focused downward as she inhaled and exhaled choked breaths. “Th-thought it would get easier, J-Jaida. Seeing people j-just die-“ she wept, any breathing exercises that had proved helpful now being proved as defeated in purpose. She collapsed into the darker-haired girl, feeling only partially soothed by Jaida’s lengthy arms wrapping around her frame. 

She shushed the crying girl softly, playing with a loose tendril of blonde hair that had escaped Jan’s ponytail at some point. Wrapping the small strand carefully around her finger, Jaida felt tears soaking into her shirt. The pair had fallen into a comfortable silence, the only sounds being Jan’s sniffling, and their breathing. 

The doctor felt guilt nestling into the pit of her stomach, and she was tempted to try and puke those feelings away, as childish as it sounded. She felt guilty for the small comfort Jan cuddling into her brought, knowing she should be focusing on the upset receptionist, instead of her unrequited feelings. 

Their friendship wasn’t something she had anticipated, after seeing that Nina had been moved up to working at the front desk on the Neonatal Intensive Floor. She always had a flair for making patients feel safe and comfortable in a place as sterile and often intimidating as the hospital could be. That sort of magic was much more needed for consoling upset parents in regards to their babies, so Jaida understood the move. Even so, seeing the redhead woman leave made her sad, already frustrated at the thought of her close friend being replaced by some inexperienced newbie. 

It had only taken a few days for Nina’s desk space to host a few small boxes, glittery purple picture frames with photos of pretty strangers and two white cups filled with cutesy pens and markers had given her enough insight into the ginger woman’s replacement. Jan was all bright smiles and fluffy blonde curls, eager as she unpacked her station. Jaida had grown a certain attachment to her in the past few weeks, always feeling her cheeks heat up when the receptionist would leave sweet little notes on her files, often leaving a coffee at her desk since she arrived at work long before Jaida to set up for the day. She was a new, but welcome fixation in her life, it hurt her to see the little ball of sunshine so sad. 

“Jan, honey, what’s goin’ on? If you don’t wanna talk about it that’s fine, but I’m sure you’ll feel better if you get it offa’ your chest,” Jaida offered, feeling Jan running a finger over the soft skin of her hand. 

“Gracie died on the table while you were gone,” she mumbled, voice breaking. 

Gracie Rodrigo was a little girl with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, assigned to Brooke Hytes, a colleague of Jaida’s who she wasn’t very familiar with outside of knowing she was damn good at her job. Almost as good as Jaida. 

“Oh, Jan,” she faltered, not knowing what words would make her feel better, as if there even were any that had the power to do that. 

Jan had grown overly accustomed to the six year olds presence when she was in the building for check-ups, always taking the elevator down to see her favorite receptionist. She always slipped Gracie an extra lollipop after an appointment or treatment session, always eager to hear about her school work or how her Barbie dolls had been doing. 

Jan’s oversized heart was both the best and worst part of her, especially considering she worked in an environment surrounded with sick little kids who, more often than not, wouldn’t get better. She loved with her whole body, and was the most compassionate, kind woman Jaida had known in her life. She had never seen someone as sweet, and loving, and gentle as Jan was, always consoling or keeping up with nice little gestures for the people around her. It was endearing, to say the least, seeing her bounce around like a little golden retriever puppy, all happy and gleeful. It’s a bad idea to get so invested in people from the hospital, Jaida thought to herself, seeing how heartbroken Jan was over the loss of someone who was little more than a stranger. . 

“I-I’m sorry for being like this,” Jan apologized, eyes downcast as if refusing to look at the girl in the room with her would make her disappear. “It’s just...Her dad was so hopeful she was gonna get better, we all were,” Jan’s voice faltered, much more quiet. Jaida had the half sense fo know she was avoiding letting more tears shed to the best of her ability. “Thought the surgery…” brown eyes refilling with tears as she shook her head. “I hate this feeling,” she sniffled.

“It ain’t fun, this type of thing, but you know that just makes you human, right? If you didn’t cry at some of the stuff we see at work I’d think you were a sociopath or somethin’” she teased, feeling worse when she saw that Jan hadn’t laughed, or even let a small smile appear on her face. It was hard, to watch someone so constantly bright and bubbly look so small, and so defeated. “I know that you think being anything but happy and bouncing off the walls like a sticky frog or somethin’ ain’t okay, but that’s not it, alright?” She pushed, seeing the blonde wiping at her nose with her sweater sleeve, nodding to Jaida’s statement glumly.

The pair just remained as they were, Jaida gently rubbing a small circle over and over again into the soft flesh of Jan’s hand. She had taken more than a little bit of notice of the small lemon tattoo on the inside of Jan’s middle finger, making a mental note to question her on its origin sometime. As she had begun genuinely calming down, Jan letting out relaxed sighs from inside Jaida’s arms, Jaida felt fuzzy inside. Any proximity this close to Jan was certain to do her in, the blonde girl nuzzling into her chest making her heart melt on the spot. 

“Hey Jaida?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m glad I got transferred here.”


End file.
